Bullying. It’s something that is talked a lot about in today’s world. We are constantly hearing about how it is bad or not right. Many of us experience bullying on a regular basis may it be at school, at work, maybe just in the course of everyday life. We might find ourselves asking, Why should I care about bullying? It doesn’t affect me. However, maybe we don’t realize the facts surrounding bullying. A journal published in American Psychologist says this:

“There is compelling evidence of anxiety as an outcome of victimization, impacting young adults” (Copeland et al., 2013, p.7). “Consistent with media reports, childhood peer victimization has been tied to greater risk for suicidal behavior (attempts and completions)” (Mcdougall, Vaillancourt, 2015, p.304).

If you are bullying someone there is a real possibility that you could be contributing to anxiety or suicidal behavior (attempts and completions). Maybe still it is not enough to know what it might be doing to someone else, but it may not just be a problem for someone else to deal with:

According to the National Center for Education Statistics “Students who are both targets of bullying and engage in bullying behavior are at greater risk for both mental health and behavior problems than students who only bully or are only bullied” (Center for Disease Control, 2016, p. 1).

What does it look like in today’s world?

According to the National Center for Education Statistics “More than one out of every five (20.8%) students report being bullied” (Pacers National Bullying Prevention Center, 2016, p. 1).

It’s not just about what other people are doing anymore. It’s about what you are doing and what people are saying to you. I imagine every person can think of a time that they or someone that they know has been bullied. So it’s important to be informed.

People can talk about anything or anyone in school or online. Some of the most common things that are talked about amongst young adults are who is pregnant or thinks they might be pregnant, what someone’s sexual identification is, or who is sleeping with who. All these things are big parts of our world today and they are easy to get caught up in.

It is very common for us at the Pregnancy Resource Center to see young women who are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. As a result, one of the things that these women might be worried about is how their peers will react. For instance, will they be pushed away by their friends? What will happen to their reputation? Will they be bullied by family as well to make decisions they are not comfortable with? In any case, it’s important that young women find comfort in some type of support system even if that’s only in their peer groups. Put yourself in their shoes and imagine how different your life would be if you were her… Choose today to see situations such as teen pregnancy, in a different light. Offer hope to those in unique situations and learn to stand out among those who only live to tear down others.

Whether it’s online to their face bullying has the same kind of effects. Sites like Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat, and other social media create places where it’s easy for young adults to talk about others while remaining “anonymous”. While these sites are great for connecting with peers and family they often breed hate because of the anonymity they offer. Be careful not to be dragged into that lifestyle.

According to the National Center for Education Statistics “More than half of bullying situations (57%) stop when a peer intervenes on behalf of the student being bullied” (Hawkins, Pepler, Craig, 2001, p. 519).

It may not seem like speaking up for someone will do much, but imagine what it would feel like to have someone in your corner? You can make a difference.

If you or someone you know is struggling with being a bully or being bullied call us (760) 945-4673 or come by. We would love to talk out these situations with you.

References

Bullying Statistics. Pacers National Bullying Prevention Center (2016). http://www.pacer.org/bullying/resources/stats.asp

Center for Disease Control. (2016). Understanding Bullying: Fact Sheet. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/yv/bullying-factsheet508.pdf

Psychiatric Outcomes of Bullying and Being Bullied by Peers in Childhood and Adolescence. JAMA Psychiatry,70(4), 425.

Hawkins, D. L., Pepler, D. J., & Craig, W. M. (2001). Naturalistic Observations of Peer Interventions in Bullying. Social Development,10(4), 519.

Mcdougall, P., & Vaillancourt, T. (2015). Long-term adult outcomes of peer victimization in childhood and adolescence: Pathways to adjustment and maladjustment. American Psychologist,70(4), 300-310.

Who are you? What do you want to be? Are you open to change? Are you Real?

Each of these questions begs a thousand more that determine the type of person you are and will be. The character traits you set your eyes on will dictate your emotions, actions, and language. Setting ambitious standards of ‘Real’ personality traits will help you remain authentic toward yourself and others. Authenticity shows that you no longer follow the crowd but are ready to forge your own paths, no matter the trials ahead. Think about what the phrase ‘be real’ means in your life? Maybe it means standing out against a social norm or standing up for others who are misunderstood. Or possibly it means learning to say only the things we know to be real instead of false. Consequently, being real comes with a lot of responsibility. Although we want to follow our true feelings we should also be mindful that judgment and shaming do not count as being real.

Often, this means learning to be vulnerable with ourselves and our true feelings about certain situations and people. When we can address character traits that go against the phrase ‘be real’ only then can we learn to accept ourselves and others. Being real is more than just expressing your opinion, it’s about finding who you are and using that to allow others the safety of expressing their ‘real attitude’. Maybe today you have found yourself in a situation that seems impossible to remain real and in the moment. If this is you take a minute to decide how long you will let yourself be affected by this event and then pick yourself and move past it. Mistakes are simply lessons learned. Choose today to see your circumstance as a chance to remain authentic. To take on this lesson as a challenge that will make you stronger in the long run.

Let’s be honest, it isn’t exactly possible to be without fear altogether. It wouldn’t be reasonable, or safe, or even human to have no fears. Sometimes our fear can keep us out of dangerous situations and help us make wise choices. What is possible is to press on despite our fears, to have courage, to be fearless to do hard things and make hard choices, to be brave in the face of fear..

What fears do you face? Do you fear what people think? Do you fear rejection? Attention? Do you fear you won’t be strong enough to handle something? Do you fear feeling out of control?

It is good to get in touch with our fears so we can deal with them. And then it is good to remember that everyone can be fearless. Like anything, fearlessness takes practice. Here are three areas we can practice courage daily, three ways we can be fearless:

BE YOU. Some days having courage to simply be yourself is more than enough. In the little things, and the big things, stand up for what you believe, live an authentic life, let yourself be seen, and known, and loved for exactly who you are. Don’t settle, don’t be who others want you to be. You are a beautiful mess and you don’t have to be anything other than who you are. You are enough.

BE HONEST. One of the most fearless things we can do in day-to-day life is vulnerable. Vulnerability researcher Brene Brown says, “Ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line.” It takes courage, to be honest about your hopes and dreams and fears and choices. Vulnerability is risky, but the reward is the knowledge that you are living an authentic life and you are being authentically loved.

BE STRONG. Having the courage to resist outside pressure and make hard choices is fearlessness at its best. Are others trying to get you to say yes, or no, to something? Are loved ones pressuring you to make certain choices for your life? Courage is standing up and standing strong for who you are and what you want. While life is full of surprises, you can be courageous to face the unexpected with strength, dignity, and power.

Practice being fearless every day by being you, being honest, and being strong. When we practice having courage in the little things we will find ourselves empowered to be brave in the face of the big things too.

If you are facing the fear of a possible, or unintended, pregnancy we encourage you to have courage and ask for help. Pregnancy Resource Center is equipped to support you with FREE services including Free Pregnancy Test, Free limited ultrasound, and Free counseling. Call us today 760-945-4673

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Sometimes in life, we all feel a lot of pressure to be just like everyone else. To talk a certain way, to act a specific way, to fit in with family or with friends. Often this pressure can make us feel included like we are a part of something, but other times it can make us feel that much more excluded highlighting for ourselves just how different we are.

It is natural to want to feel like a part of something and it’s important to have friends that we can rely on and get along with. However, we must be careful that we don’t become fixated on being just like everyone else.

Remember there are parts of you that people love! Things that are so different from the rest of the world and those are things that make you unique and all your own person. That doesn’t mean that we stop growing through our trials and challenges. Trying to improve doesn’t mean changing all of ourselves it is about trimming off the parts that aren’t healthy. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam once said:

“Never stop fighting until you arrive at your destined place that is the unique you. Have an aim in life, continuously acquire knowledge, work hard, and have perseverance to realize the great life”

Being one of a kind means having the courage to be yourself in all situations. This attitude is what others will admire about you. Honor the character traits that make you one of a kind and choose today to be grateful you are not like everyone else.

 

LaBeLs (Everyone’s worst nightmare)

Labels are words or phrases that are used to tear others down. Labels affect all generations and each age group has specific labels that are unique to them. Each second of the day someone is being labeled either by themselves, family, co-workers, and most common their peers. Labels can retrain our brains to see ourselves as others see us instead of what we truly are. These labels can describe something as small as our hair being straight or curly. Interacting with these labels causes us to lose self-confidence, respect for ourselves, and even diminishes the thinking capacity we once had. Negative perceptions can completely change us into different people.

What if we aren’t the ones being labeled? What if you have labeled someone else? The same concept applies. Your negative words could have caused them to change their view of themselves and the world around them. The person you called fat is possibly treating their body like a prisoner. Starving themselves to fit into the image you have conformed them to. The person you said was ugly is likely seeking out unrealistic beauty treatments, surgery’s, and medications to look like the person they saw on TV. How about the person you called a failure and not valued? They could be contemplating suicide. What about the girl you called a stupid and worthless when she got pregnant in high school? This girl is most likely ashamed, alone, and scared because having a surprise baby doesn’t fit your mold of who she should be. This girl, as well as the others in each scenario, will have many challenges ahead of them but labels should not be one of them. Each of us were created like a puzzle, each distinctively different so that we could complete the beautiful picture that shows its face once put together.

Our society tells us that we should all look, speak, and think alike. When will you decide that labeling is not what you were made to do? You were meant for a greater purpose and to uplift others instead of tearing them down. Choose today to be the day you stop labeling others and define who YOU are based on your gifts and talents! The Pregnancy Resource Center stands with you in this challenge to be who you are TODAY! If you or someone you know is struggling with labels, self-esteem, unintended pregnancy, STD’s, and or suicidal thoughts call us today to speak confidentially with a trained counselor. We are here to help you, make today the day!

So… what do you expect? What do you desire? What do you respect? What do you admire?

These are big and challenging questions, and the answers to these questions can guide your life, your choices, and your relationships. The key is to be clear on your answers. If you can’t easily answer these questions, take some time to think, talk, or write about it.

What are your expectations for yourself? Today, tomorrow, a year from now? You are worth having high expectations for your life. We attract the opportunities, the treatment, and the people that match our expectations. If you expect to be treated well then you will attract people who exceed that expectation.

What do you desire for yourself? What do you desire in a relationship? Do you want someone who dictates only their needs or the opposite where they could care less about anyone’s needs? If you desire love and respect you will reflect that desire to those in your life. Reflect that you are worthy of love and respect by the example you set for others. People will naturally gravitate towards those who have admirable characteristics, such as the desire to stand up for what they want.

What do you respect? Do you respect strong women? Do you respect people who go after what they want and are resilient in the face of challenges? You are worthy of respect. Look around and think about who you know, or who you have met, that you greatly respect and seek out those traits in yourself.

What do you admire? Examples are all around us and we can mirror the behaviors and choices we see while still holding ourselves accountable to the person we want to be. You are worthy and capable of finding these qualities you just need to be patient. You didn’t become the person you are overnight and it will take time to achieve the true self you admire to be.

You have the power to set the standards for your own life, one day at a time. Live the life you want to live and don’t let others dictate or decide what you expect, desire, respect, and admire. Our power is in the choices we make, choices to strive daily to be the people we want to be, no matter the circumstances. We have the power today to make choices that we will be proud of tomorrow and for years to come.

So.. what do you want? What are you going to choose for yourself?

Ever wonder if the information you have been given about sex is accurate? We know that there are many different opinions in society today that tell us what sex is and how it should be viewed. It is our hope that we can give you more information regarding the opinions you often here so that you can make the most informed choice. Below is a list of common misconceptions we here at the Pregnancy Resource Center.

The FIRST misconception:“I can’t get pregnant if I’m breastfeeding.”

Breastfeeding can suppress ovulation in some women. Most women do not have a period during the postpartum stage if they are breastfeeding full time. This does not provide 100% protection against pregnancy because some women can still ovulate (when your body releases an egg for fertilization and conception) without having a period.

The SECOND misconception: “By having sex in a certain position you can prevent pregnancy.”

It doesn’t matter what position you have sex in, sperm can swim in multiple directions including upwards.  If you are having sex, there is a chance of becoming pregnant and or contracting an STD/STI.

The THIRD misconception: “You can’t get pregnant your first time having sex.”

If you are having unprotected sex you can still get pregnant even if it’s your first time. Even if you are protected by a contraceptive none of them are 100%. Each provides a failure rate depending on how they are used, manufactured, and the person’s overall health that is taking them. It’s also important to note that contraception does not prevent STD’s/STI’s.

The FOURTH misconception: “You can’t get pregnant when you are on your period.”

If a woman has reached the stage in life where ovulation begins (which occurs monthly in most women) there is always a chance for pregnancy. Even if you are on your period if you are not using protection there is a chance for unintended pregnancy and or an STD/STI.

The FIFTH misconception: “I took my birth control and or we used condoms. I thought I was safe.”

            As stated previously, contraceptives are not 100% effective so there is always a chance for unintended pregnancy. Abstinence is the only 100% way to protect yourself. If you are unsure of the risks you face with your contraceptive you should speak with your doctor or make a FREE appointment at our center to speak with our nurse about how to protect your health.

**As you can see there are a lot of things that you might have heard about sex that may not be true after all. It is important to take ownership of this part of your life and the choices you make. If you would like more information about the things that we have shared here today, call our center at 760-945-4673 or check out our appointment tab on Pregnancy Resource Centers website for a FREE and CONFIDENTIAL consult with a trained counselor.

Life moves fast. Between the constant list of to-dos and the things that need to be taken care of at a moment’s notice, it’s easy to walk through life distracted. These things could be anything, family problems, arguments with your peers, car troubles, or maybe for you, it’s an unplanned pregnancy. In any of these circumstances, it’s important to remember to be present in the moment. It can be difficult to remain present because most people would run away and choose not to deal with the trial ahead. You have to ask yourself though, does running away solve anything?

Running away may provide some relief for a time but eventually, that issue will pop up again and you may not be able to run away. So, what can you do? If you are in the middle of a moment where you are having a challenging time staying present, take a minute to just breath. By taking some time to breathe and explore the problem you give yourself the opportunity to make a choice that you can be proud of.

In some circumstances, things come up that do need to be taken care of quickly, maybe though, in your situation today it would help to stop where you are and think about what you want out of this situation, maybe talk with a trusted friend or advisor. By engaging an outside party, you allow a new perspective to shed light on your situation. This may prompt you to see another option that was not clear before. Allowing yourself to be present in these moments of clarity can help you make the best choices for you and your family that will ultimately affect your future.

If you are concerned about an unhealthy relationship, unplanned pregnancy, and or STD’s the Pregnancy Resource Center can help you slow the decision process down by providing you with the information necessary to make an informed choice. Whatever your situation, stop in today or call us confidentially (760) 945-4673 and choose to be in the moment.

Douglas Pagels said, “Some of the secret joys of living are not found by rushing from point A to point B, but by inventing some imaginary letters along the way.” Maybe today we should be more like that, taking in the important scenery along the way.

Have you ever been in a place where confidentiality was ignored and or neglected? Ever felt like you were uncomfortable opening up because you couldn’t trust the person you were speaking with? Pregnancy, relationships, STD information, or parenting concerns are all topics that we deal with at the Pregnancy Resource Center. You are justified to be concerned about your privacy with not only the mentioned topics but others as well. Confidentiality matters because your information is just that “YOURS”. As you enter the Pregnancy Resource Center have confidence that all your information will be kept in a secure, confidential file that is only accessed by authorized personnel. Our services are dedicated to meeting the needs of ALL people and below are just a few of the things we do to ensure your confidentiality.

How does the Pregnancy Resource Center keep my information private?

  1. Every volunteer and staff member are screened thoroughly. That is to ensure that they will always meet the needs of our clients NO MATTER WHAT.
  2. Clients meet with counselors in a private room that allow the client to speak freely.
  3. Every counselor and nurse are trained under an accredited program. That is to ensure professionalism and proficiency.
  4. Finally, if there ever was a concern by the client that confidentiality or any other concern was not met, we offer a confidential survey for them to fill out before they leave.
  5. Every client file is kept locked in a secure cabinet that only authorized personnel have access to.

*At PRC we strive to give our clients the best service possible. We are always looking for new ways to continue this care. We look forward to hearing from each client about their experience.

*If you have recently visited PRC and have not yet rated your experience. You can rate us on YELP or Facebook. You can also send us a private message on Facebook voicing any concerns or comments about your experience. We appreciate each person that walks through our door. We will continue to serve our community with dignity, respect, love and CONFIDENTIALITY.

What does the word standard even mean? Merriam-Webster defines it as “something established by authority, custom, or general consent as a model or example.” Think about what standards mean for your life and how they have molded you into the person you are. Standards do not have to be thought of as a negative concept but rather a set of guidelines you would like to follow in your life. Many times, we get lost in the hustle and bustle of life that we forget to make decisions for ourselves. This can lower our ability to create our own standards and cause us trouble along the way.

Below are some recommendations for how to begin creating your own standards.

Do: Set Goals (Goals are vital for your standards because without them you will not grow, but rather remain stagnant in your life)

Don’t: Settle (You are worth more than the expectations people set for you! Create your own reality! Your standards should be met or you need to move on from the event disagreeing with them.)

Do: Ask for advice (Family or peers may have standards that might give you ideas on how to start your own)

Don’t: Lose perspective (Losing perspective between what your reality is and what you are trying to fit into your life that may not be best for you in the long run. Sometimes we want something so badly that we are willing to risk all the good we have created for ourselves. Don’t lose yourself for someone, something, or a false reality that the world has shown us.)

Do: Be mindful (of your strengths and weaknesses so as not to stress yourself out any further but to instead learn and grow from the standards you create)

Don’t: Ever give up! (You can always achieve what you set your mind on)